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Modest Hotness

Every woman relishes themselves in moments when they are the one that keeps heads turning when they walk by or enter a room full of people. However, looking good often comes at the cost of staying abreast of trends and upgrading one’s wardrobe to keep up with the fast-changing fads of the fashion macrocosm.

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It’s no secret that every woman, young or old, conservative or trendy, likes to be told that they look good, that they are beautiful. They relish the accolades and bask in the euphoric attention they receive. The desire to appear fashionable, beautiful, and stylish may differ among women, but on a fundamental level, most, if not all women want to look good when they dress and appear in public. Every woman relishes themselves in moments when they are the one that keeps heads turning when they walk by or enter a room full of people. However, looking good often comes at the cost of staying abreast of trends and upgrading one’s wardrobe to keep up with the fast-changing fads of the fashion macrocosm. This then puts them under pressure.

Keeping up with trends, despite being expensive at times, can also put women—especially young and naive women—in a position where they compromise some of the values they were raised with. The rat race to look alluring could get out of hand in many ways that lead towards a dark path. Some young ladies and even some older ladies have gotten themselves in a pickle for going too far in the pursuit of attention and hotness by the way they dress. For instance, hypothetically speaking, take a 16-year-old girl that is invited to a ‘grown-up’ party. She instantly feels the pressure to look and act like a grown up so as not to be identified as underaged. She slips on a revealing and risqué dress and applies makeup to accentuate her appearance and make her look grown and ‘sexy.’

Sexual abuse and harassment is real 

At the party, she gets accosted by men who assume she is in her twenties. The attention is an ego boost for her, so she plays along until she finds herself in an uncomfortable or compromising situation with a man who seems wired and ready to get something, she isn’t enthusiastic to give. At that moment she realizes that she is no longer willing to be the ‘adult’ she is dressed as, and she thankfully escapes the situation unharmed. This is a common situation among many young girls of this era. Some are not as lucky as the girl in this story. Many ladies, young and old, sometimes become victims of sexual abuse and harassment because of their provocative dressing arising from their inordinate affection to keep up with the fashion trends and in their pursuit of attention.

“Modesty is the color of virtue.” — Diogenes

Of course, there is no excuse to harm anyone based on how they are dressed but looking at the prevailing fashion trends we see on our streets and television, perhaps it is time to ask if we are going too far with suggestive dressing. Are our youths putting their best foot forward with the way they dress?  Have we lost every ounce of modesty when it comes to dressing?  Is the desire to ‘show some skin’ becoming more of an obsession with public nudity? Can our youths look good and dress modestly at the same time or are the two concepts mutually exclusive? The answer is an emphatic YES! It is possible to look fantastic and decent at the same time. The ability to combine these two makes a woman appear classy, intelligent and respectable. Below are some tips to achieve that balance.

5 Tips for Achieving Modest Hotness

Pretty brunette woman in formal blue dress on gray background—modesty is beautiful.

#1 Tip—Know Your Body Size, Type and Shape. As a woman, your body has a shape and conscience. You should know what matches your body size, type, and shape. When you understand your body type and frame, you will be able to dress appropriately, beautiful, and comfortable as you accentuate your look. Women of all sizes have varied body types and shapes. First, there is the Pear-Shaped Body Type or a Triangle Shape. Second, there is the Hourglass Shaped Body Type or the Curvy Shape. Third, there is the Apple Shaped Body Type of the Inverted Triangle Shape. Fourth, there is the Athletic Shaped Body Type or the Rectangle or Straight Shape. For each of these body types and shape, there are ways to dress to celebrate and emphasize your shape and look. Learn, dress, and be modestly elegant. Wear clothes that make your mold stand out without looking cheap, tacky, or trashy. 

“Modesty is the conscience of the body.” — Honore de Balzac

#2 Tip—Consider the Dress Combinations You Choose. How we look is the key to our success. However, getting that perfect dress combo is usually hard to attain and can frustrate a lot of ladies at times. So, it will pay off to study ways to combine your dresses. An example is by gaining some understanding of blending dresses and outfits well using hues in various circumstances. For instance, to be the center of attraction, dress in clothes with considerable bright color swatches. Reserved colors (e.g., white with gravel or brownish hue) gives off a business-like air. To infuse a look of sophistication, accent your dressing by adding gold accessories. Unmistakably, to celebrate your feminine looks, wear pink. Grey colors combine well with some secondary colors (e.g., green of all tones) and can be a good base for an official appearance. If you want to look aristocratic, wear blue. Here is another example, consider a very tall lady wearing stilettos and a short gown—she is bound to get the wrong kind of attention. So, consider what you would be combining the clothing you wish to wear with. Understand your accessories and how best to use them to empower your dressing.

Fashion designer determines the colors that best suit an individual based on client natural colorings.

#3 Tip—Plan for the Weather and Environment. Ever seen a woman walking around and struggling to get her gown down past her knees while the wind blows? Ever seen a lady struggling to get her dress in order before boarding a public vehicle? Every seen a lady on stilettos and trying to walk with a group through a field with soft earth? Before wearing some clothing and accessorizing yourself, consider the conditions which lay in wait for you on the way. For instance, if you are going hiking, don’t wear high-heel shoes—wear flat shoes that will enable you to walk the ground with ease. Is it going to be a rainy day? Then consider wearing or carrying a pair of rainboots as you leave your home, or at least go with an umbrella. Consider the terrain, discuss the requirements of transportation and consider whether that dress and combined accessories is the best idea. Now, plan again.

#4 Tip—Dress Elegantly, Not Shabbily. A skimpy and unpolished dress may seem fashionable. However, this might send a wrong signal about your character and integrity if you wear it in the wrong situation or circumstance.  For instance, a lady dressing suggestively at home could be okay in a romantic or sensual situation with her spouse. However, wearing a suggestive short miniskirts or dress at work can make you become an object of staring eyes, which can obstruct office professionalism. Some ladies totally love wearing extremely tight-fitting attires that leave little to the imagination. Some of these ladies just relish seeing men drool as they stare at them as they keep heads turning. Ladies in the guise of wanting to look good are willingly making themselves the objects of attention—most times with an eye to attract, impress, or even seduce. Dress modestly, there is no need to dress and cross provocative boundaries in public always.  Be elegant in the way you dress—don’t be shabby. However, always remember that a refined dress sense commands more dignity, than one that is too suggestive. Also, remember that a woman who is considered to have dignity is deemed to be a lot more attractive.

Charming fashion model in striped dress posing with hands on hip and looking away showing a sense of minimalist beauty.

“When virtue and modesty enlighten her charms, the luster of a beautiful woman is brighter than the stars of heaven, and the influence of her power it is in vain to resist.” — Akhenaton

#5 Tip—Appropriateness. Some occasions require different types of outfits. A bikini is revealing but is an appropriate outfit to wear at a beach or pool. Same way you’d attract unwanted attention for wearing a skirt suit to the beach, or, clueless. A strapless mini dress may look right for a night out at the club but would rightly be frowned upon should you wear it to church or work. Be deliberate when you select what you wish to wear. Yes, you have the great body type and shape, and you want to dress to kill. However, do not ruin your personality and reputation by dressing inappropriately for different occasions. In your quest for attention, be sure that you are not sending out the wrong signal. It’s where you are going that should determine what you wear. Have some common sense when it comes to your choice of how you dress. Do yourself a favor and be deliberate. Be appropriate. Be modest. Be beautiful.

Finally, it is imperative to emphasize that a woman should be free to wear whatever she wants provided that no laws be broken. Remember the tips that we have shared via this piece. First, understand your body size, type, and shape. This knowledge will allow you to make a better judgment of what suits you best. Second, consider how you combine what you wear. Among other things, understand your hues and accessories that you use to accent your style. Third, plan for the weather and understand the terrain. This will guide your appropriate dressing decisions and habits. Fourth, dress elegant and don’t be shabby. Don’t be known as the lady who is always seeking lewd attention at all occasions. You may be sending out the wrong signals and will gain the wrong attention. Finally, the fifth tip is to be comfortable; however, be sure you dress appropriately. However, it is also pertinent to remember that we create impressions in other people’s minds based on how we appear. It makes sense to look our best while maintaining some level of modesty. You can call it ‘modest hotness.’

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Ogbonnaya Agom-Eze is an entrepreneur and the Founder, CEO, Editor-In-Chief of Oaekpost, LLC, a U.S.-based online media company and the parent organization of He is a multi-niche writer with a wide range of interests in various genres. Agom-Eze is based in the Greater Seattle Area, Washington, and can be reached at

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